mithrillian: Well, in case you missed it, starting yesterday LJ made it near impossible for the people not resident in Russia to keep posting/commenting (payment and/or verification is now mandatory). Also, some Russian residents don't want to pay/verify just to be able to *comment*. That's why you had 1300+ new accounts yesterday in place of the usual 250 :)
I. Should probably find out if that one community ever got backed up to Dreamwidth. That, or I should go copy-paste my fics from said comm from a million years ago, so I don't lose them forever.
Edit: Fics officially moved! I wonder if the community moderator is still active and would be willing to import the comm over here... And especially the "parent" AU comm.
Our son is 6 feet tall, athletic and godly, and he has his own apartment and clears $100k a year. Despite all this, he still doesn't have a wife. It's even reached the point that he gets angry at my wife and me for pressuring him. During a few of the blind dates we set up for him, I watched from afar, and each time he was stood up! How can I ensure my son gets a wife before I grow too old? -- DAD LOSING HOPE IN NEW YORK
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2. Dear Care and Feeding,
I have a wonderful son in his early 20s. He is intelligent, articulate, has a great sense of humor and taste in music, is very responsible (he’s even managed to save a sizable chunk of cash at a young age), and is very handsome. I realize I have a biased view here, but I get comments all the time about what a wonderful young man he is. In school and employment, his teachers, co-workers, and supervisors have always raved about him. I couldn’t possibly be prouder. There’s just one problem…
He is struggling socially, and more specifically on the romantic front. He’s not a drinker or partier, so he doesn’t engage in a lot of the typical activities that others in his age group do, and that leaves him going to work, then coming home. He’s lonely, unhappy, and has no confidence in himself. The one time he attempted to date in high school, he was met with some rejection, and he just hasn’t put himself out there again. I see how much it’s hurting him to see others his age dating, getting engaged, and even married, and I’ve heard him make comments about how he’d like those things for himself as well. I know that there would be lots of women who would love to date a young man like my son. I encouraged him to set up a profile on a dating site, and he did, but nothing has come of that either. I don’t want to meddle or interfere, but I hate to see how hurt he is.
We have talked over and over about how he will need to push outside of his comfort zone (our house) if he wants to meet someone. He has had professional counseling for social anxiety, which I’ve encouraged and helped facilitate. He’s so miserable being alone, and I want so badly to help him, that I’ve considered trying to set up a date for him myself, but I don’t want to be THAT mom. I love my son, and I want to help him find his happiness. What should I do here? How can I help him? I can’t help thinking that getting him out on one date to break the ice would maybe be just what he needs. Or maybe this is all none of my business? It’s hard to ignore when he lives in my home and shares with me how much this is hurting him. Any advice is greatly appreciated!
—Maybe Meddling Mama
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I wrote a check and was tempted to add a snarky comment, but I didn't. Yes, my son should keep his hands to himself, but the water bottle is still functional. My son apologized. Am I living my life wrong, or is it OK that they just invoiced me like that? -- UNSURE IN ILLINOIS
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2. We own a cabin across the street from our rural home. We rent it out occasionally. Our latest renter was the son of a neighbor who was in town for the holidays. We welcomed him and gave him our “friends and family” discount. On his first day there, we noticed that he had plugged his car into the charging station in the cabin’s garage. I understand his need to charge his car — but not at someone else’s expense. His behavior struck me as rude and presumptuous. Your thoughts?
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3. My husband’s relatives are visiting from another country over Christmas. The two adults speak English fluently, but they haven’t taught their children — ages 3 and 5 — a word of it. This means that I will not be able to communicate with the children at all and they will be frightened by everyone they meet at holiday events since they won’t understand anything. The parents claim they haven’t taught their children English because they will learn it in school. But they planned this visit a year ago! So, because of their laziness, I will be excluded from many conversations in my own home. I see no point in learning their language since there is no language barrier among the adults. This is not the children’s fault, but their parents’ behavior is annoying and deliberate. How should I handle it?
HOSTESS
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4. A friend invited me to her New Year’s Eve party again this year, and again, she asked me to bring a dish to serve. A potluck! The food she offers herself is undistinguished. Granted, being a hostess is demanding, but my feeling is that if you can’t manage to feed your guests, you shouldn’t invite them. I would never ask mine to supply the repast. I am offended at the thought of buying and cooking food for her party. How can I decline her request to bring food but nevertheless attend the party?
GUEST
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5. Dear Eric: I own a few cars that I park on the street in front of my house. Some new toddlers and preschool kids are learning how to ride a bike. They circle constantly in front of my house instead of the house they rent next door to my house.
The neighbors park all over the street, and do not use the driveway. They have several cars and live in a cul-de-sac. They are not watching or teaching the kids how to ride or even stay out of the road as cars come through. But that's another issue. My question is, do I have any rights as a homeowner and county resident to ask the renters to stay away from the area in front of my house and the cars parked in front? My concern being the kids might hit my cars, and it's actually annoying to see them in front of my house for hours. People think these are my kids and think I'm not watching them.
What can I do?
– Neighborhood Watch
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* 5 Batfamily
* 2 Dungeon Crawler Carl
* 2 The Pitt
* 2 Star Wars
* 1 Slow Horses/Rivers of London crossover and 1 Ted Lasso vid
I haven't read much of anything from
I didn't do much fannishly this year - the recs continue, and I still reblog a metric fuckton of stuff on tumblr, but my brain hasn't sparked to write again, though I think it might be inching closer, thanks to, of all things, Dungeon Crawler Carl. I also loved loved loved The Pitt and am so excited season 2 is coming so soon!
Now, I've got a new episode of Percy Jackson and the series finale of Stranger Things to watch, and then I have to wash my hair.
I hope everyone is celebrating New Year's Eve in their chosen fashion. <333
*
Dear Eric: My husband and I have been together for 11 years. He has one daughter, 43, with two young children I adore and have been close to until last summer when the volcano erupted.
Since the beginning of our relationship, I have made every effort to be loving and generous to his daughter. She acts entitled and ungrateful to me.
It’s my fault for not standing up for myself early in my joining the family. For example, I wish to be thanked for gifts, babysitting, making holidays happen, having them over for dinner and so on.
She doesn’t seem to care about me at all. Her father will not stand up to her and seems scared of her.
Last summer I blew up at her in a text and let her know how I feel about her behavior.
I called her a manipulative user and let her know my truth which is certainly not her truth. I apologized twice in two letters for being so harsh, but she will not forgive me, allow a repair or let me see the grandkids. Her father will not help. This is hurting our marriage.
I miss the little ones terribly and cried for months about this. Yes, I am in therapy and hoping my husband will go to couples counseling together. Funny, he is a psychotherapist. I would be most appreciative if you can offer us your help.
— Missing Family
Family: Ask yourself what you have the power to change and what you need to accept, even if you don’t like it.
For instance, you probably should accept that the relationship with your husband’s daughter is not serving either one of you right now. And it’s probably because her relationship with your husband is not healthy. It’s likely that some of the frustration you’re feeling stems from a desire to change something that’s outside of your control.
You write that your husband won’t help you. If you want him to compel his daughter to accept your apology, that might not actually be useful. Unfortunately, even though your relationship with the grandkids was, perhaps, healthy, the other relationships supporting it are less so.
So, what can you change? Well, you’re doing the most important first step by working on yourself in therapy. If your husband won’t go to couples counseling (which he should), ask him why and ask him how he proposes to help you both communicate better.
But I'll close out 2025 by reccing some vids! Since I got back into watching vids this past year, there are a bunch of new-to-me ones to share. For the Tumblr ones, since it now defaults to dash view (which you need to be logged in to see) I've tried to provide a non-logged-in version where possible.
We Didn't Start the Fire by
There aren't very many canons that are long, varied, and epic enough to vid to this song, but this works really well and the clip selection is A++.
Ice Cream Man by
I had a lot of problems with season 3 and Steve's sailor outfit was definitely one of them, but this is a very cute, fun, and playful vid about it!
80s horror summer by
Great editing and really goes for the retro vibe!
Human by
I'm going through a nostalgia phase for these movies after rewatching the first two back in October, and this is a lovely vid that does a great job with Mystique's arc across the various movies.
Pink Pony Club by
A wonderfully edited vid that does a fantastic job using the song lyrics to tell the two sides to Gwen's story on the show: she discovers her true calling and blossoms when the secret world of aliens opens up to her, but loses some of her humanity along the way.
Shake It Out by
A vid about breaking and getting up again.
Anti-Hero by
Great tragilarious vid about Londo's general everything.
What Was I Thinkin' by
A fun, bouncy vid set to honky tonk country that (surprisingly? unsurprisingly?) works really well for Han Solo.
If I Had $1,000,000 by
This canon/song pairing is INSPIRED and the editing and lip-syncing is great.
https://harukami.dreamwidth.org/816011.html

It’s strange, and possibly borderline offensive, to suggest that an at-the-time two-time Academy Award nominee and Golden Globe-winning actor had not arrived before appearing in The Shawshank Redemption. But guess what, this is precisely what I am going to do, right now. The Shawshank Redemption did a number of things: Gave Stephen King arguably his best movie adaptation. Moved Frank Darabont from a middlin’ genre screenwriter to the Hollywood A-list. Grabbed seven Oscar nominations, including Best Picture. Became the top-rated movie of all time on IMDb. This movie did all of these things. But what it truly did, was give the world its current understanding of the phenomenon that is Morgan Freeman. Freeman came into The Shawshank Redemption appreciated, admired, awarded and accomplished. He came out of Shawshank an icon.
It’s the narration, of course. The scaffolding of the entire movie, which Freeman offers in his rich, unhurried voice, offering context and commentary low and slow. Freeman isn’t just saying the words, he’s braising them, making them tender and toothsome but with just enough wry bite to keep the audience coming back. The words Freeman is saying come from Stephen King’s novella, filtered through Darabont’s screenplay. But make no mistake. The moment he starts speaking, they are his. It’s not an exaggeration to say that more than anything else, it’s Morgan Freeman, and his voice, that have made this movie the classic it is today. Take it away, it’s just another prison drama.
Maybe that’s too dismissive. Even without the narration, it would be a very handsome, very accomplished prison drama, and one that in many ways is clearly a labor of love for Frank Darabont. Darabont spent some of the money he got for his first feature film screenplay (A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors) to secure an option on “Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption” from its author Stephen King. He reportedly spent $5,000 on the option; King reportedly never cashed the check. Darabont wrote a script and took a meeting at Castle Rock Productions, home of another fellow who liked Stephen King, Rob Reiner. Reiner loved the script and wanted to direct it, offering Darabont a fair amount of money to let him do so. Darabont took less money for the opportunity to direct it himself.
I think this is was a good choice on Darabont’s part. The version of Shawshank that Reiner would have made would, I think, have been good — we have both Stand By Me and Misery to stand testament to that. That said, there’s a lightness to Rob Reiner’s work (yes, even when Annie Wilkes is taking a sledgehammer to Paul Sheldon’s ankles, we’re talking an overall gestalt), in the way he frames and lights and shoots his scenes, and in how he directs his actors. Reiner’s Shawshank would have looked and played very differently, even with the same script in hand.
Darabont doesn’t do “light” — not just in this film but in any of them. He tried to do light in The Majestic and while I like that film quite a lot, actually, boy, was he not the right director for that. Darabont is dark — well, “dark” makes it sound like he’s goth or something, which he’s not. Let’s say “somber.” He’s somber, and his frame is considered, and he doesn’t do a closeup when he’s got a perfectly good medium shot to go to. Shit, even his close-ups aren’t that close up.
I suppose a word that matches well with Shawshank’s pace and bearing is “stately.” Nothing fast, everything considered, all of it moving along in its own time. Which makes sense. Everyone in this movie is doing time. Twenty years, forty years, life. They don’t have to be in a rush for anything. So they’re not, and neither is this film.
(There are fight scenes, and they are violent, and things move fast there. Again, big picture, folks.)
Darabont’s sensibilities as a director are precisely right for the story he wants to tell here, one where we need to feel the whole wide expanse of the time these men have at their disposal, and how time itself disposes of them. One of the most celebrated parts of the film is an interlude where an older convict, one who has spent nearly all his life in the prison, is paroled and loosed upon the world — or more accurately the world is loosed upon him. “The world got itself in a big damn hurry,” he writes his friends, but Darabont doesn’t make the interlude hurry at all. He follows it, stately, to its inevitable conclusion.
There is a larger story here. It’s told mostly by Ellis “Red” Redding (Freeman) in narration, centering on his friend Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins), who is serving two life sentences for the murder of his estranged wife and her lover. Andy doesn’t fit into prison, and not just because he was a banker in his previous life. There’s something else going on with him that makes him an odd fish. Nevertheless over time Red and his friends warm to Andy, and Andy returns the favor as the skills from his past life start to come in handy for a warden (Bob Gunton) who has big plans, not all of them on the up-and-up.
Andy is a lifer and his life is no cakewalk in prison, but he holds out hope, which is something Red doesn’t approve of. Hope of what? Hope for what? It’s never specified, and then one day an important piece of information comes to light about Andy’s crimes. Things happen not fast after that, but certainly quicker than they had before, and we discover why Red had to be the narrator after all.
In King’s novella, Red is Irish (a throwaway line in the script, played for humor, is all that remains of that), but after this movie there is no way anyone would imagine anyone else but Freeman in the role. Freeman gives the character gravitas, but not at the expense of making you forget he’s in prison, and rightfully so. Red’s a lifer, and has the perspective of a lifer. If he’s maybe a little smarter than most of the other inmates, with somewhat more perspective, it doesn’t make his position any better than theirs, and he knows it. Red has gotten to sit with his own bullshit for years and years, and Freeman’s performance reflects that fact. The character has gravitas because the world and his choices weigh on him.
That comes through, to bring everything ’round again, in the narration. Narration is almost never a very good idea in film. It usually means that you’ve come to the end of production and editing and realized, shit, some very important plot points have been left terribly unwritten in the script, quick, grab the lead and loop in some lines. Bad narration can drag a film down (see: the original version of Blade Runner, where Harrison Ford’s apparently intentional leaden line readings indicated what value he thought they brought to the film) or even make it more confusing than it was before (see: 1984’s version of Dune, which to be fair, no amount of explanatory narration could have salvaged). So why does it work here?
One, because going back all the way to King’s novella, this was always Red’s story, even as he’s telling it about Andy. The frame was always there, and always meant to be there; it wasn’t some rushed last-minute addition from the notes of a panicked studio suit. Two, because it is Morgan Freeman. That voice. That cadence. That intonation. That occasional wry remark. Freeman was nominated for Best Actor for this film, and make no mistake that the narration was a great deal of what got him the nomination. The rest of his acting is terrific, to be clear. But it’s the narration that has stayed with people over the decades. It’s arguably the most successful film narration ever.
Freeman did not win the Best Actor Oscar that year. It went to Tom Hanks for Forrest Gump. In the light of 2025, and the esteem in which Freeman’s performance is currently held, this could be seen as a puzzling choice. This is where I remind people (or, if they’re young, inform them) that The Shawshank Redemption was a box office failure when it came out in 1994. It cost $25 million to make and made only $16 million in its first spin through the theaters. The film’s seven Oscar nominations actually prompted Columbia Pictures to re-release the film in February of 1995, which goosed the domestic take up to just under $25 million. Then it came out on home video and was a monster, becoming the top video rental of 1995. That and incessant showings on basic cable, brought the movie to the esteem it has today.
But in 1994? Shawshank made less in the theaters than Forrest Gump made in its first weekend; throw in the February re-release and they draw up about even. It was a minor miracle that Shawshank was nominated for seven Oscars at all. It didn’t win any because it was up against Gump and Pulp Fiction and lots of other movies seen more by the public and by Academy voters. The only major award of any note that the film won was one it from the American Society of Cinematographers, who gave Roger Deakins their award for theatrical releases. Really, that’s pretty much it.
Fear not, for the Oscar comes to Morgan Freeman a decade later, in 2005, when he wins his statuette for Million Dollar Baby. By this time, Morgan Freeman has become Morgan Freeman, The Voice of God — literally, in the case of the film Bruce Almighty — and the most recognizable voice this side of James Earl Jones, Tim Robbins, who plays Andy Dufresne in Shawshank, will also win an Oscar, his in 2004. Curiously, both Freeman and Robbins will win their Oscars being directed by Clint Eastwood.
Does Freeman owe his eventual Oscar to Shawshank? You’ll have to imagine me making a see-saw motion here, since among other things Eastwood worked with Freeman before, notably on Unforgiven, and of course Freeman had turned in Oscar-caliber performances prior to Shawshank. But there’s no doubt that Freeman’s cultural capital had been raised considerably, and much of that comes from this role and its slow ascendance into public consciousness. Freeman is responsible for Freeman winning an Oscar. Shawshank is responsible for making Freeman, America’s Quiet Yet Comforting Voice of Authority, our very own ASMR Daddy, letting us know everything will be all right.
Morgan Freeman has become such a voice icon that there is an entire genre of internet meme devoted to putting text next to a picture of him so when you read the text, you hear him saying the words in your mind, automatically giving those words credibility, no matter what the words are. You could post the words “kittens are a wholesome and natural snack” next to Freeman’s face and suddenly at least some people would be wondering if that wasn’t true. It’s not true, by the way. Please don’t eat kittens. Also Freeman never said that. Freeman probably said none of those things that those memes attribute to him. The internet lies, people.
So instead, let me leave you with words Morgan Freeman did say, in The Shawshank Redemption, near the end of the film: “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” This is the choice Red has to consider for himself, and the choice he makes is informed by every other thing that has happened in the film. If you watched the film, you know his answer, and if you haven’t watched it I’m not going to spoil it for you now.
Either way, with or without Morgan Freeman saying them to you, I want you to consider those words in your own life, especially when things are difficult, as they so frequently are. The choices you make and the actions that come from them will make a difference to you and those around you. The Shawshank Redemption, in the end, is about this. You don’t need Morgan Freeman to tell you it’s important. But I have to tell you, it doesn’t hurt when he does.
Thanks for sticking with me for The December Comfort Watches this month. I hope the new year brings you joy, and comfort, and movies.
— JS
I do wonder how much of Mozilla’s recent "pivot to AI" is about "pivoting to AI" per se versus a blatant attempt to attract funding from AI companies given the threatened status of its current cash-cow . . .
(This post brought to you by my month purge of browser.ml settings in about:config, and your 2026 reminder to do the same.)
Of course I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, fandom belongs to the fans, and the outpouring of love and work and time that created the fandom was ours and remains ours. On the other hand, I don't like the ongoing link to someone who has traded in a career as an author for one as a full-time pro-hate activist.
I don't want to take the stories down. I don't want to orphan them. I just want to be able to take some pleasure in them again.
So starting with 2026, I'm making donations to https://transgenderlawcenter.org and https://give.thetrevorproject.org in honor of fanreaders. That way when the titles come up in my email, I'll have a nice, warm feeling knowing that they're connected with people who are doing something positive for the lives of trans people.
(Thanks to
I would like to thank Hoopla, Overdrive, and my local public library for helping me read an absolutely ridiculous number of books this year: 113 books by 62 authors, of which 33-36 books were re-reads. (Re-reads marked with an asterisk, or a question mark on the three I couldn't remember whether I had read before or not.) Goodreads calculated my top genres as Fantasy, Romance, and Science Fiction. According to my lifetime-books-read spreadsheet, the top three most-read authors this year were KJ Charles, Cat Sebastian, and Terry Pratchett. Four-way tie for fourth place: T. Kingfisher, Rex Stout, P.G. Wodehouse, Isaac Asimov.
I also tried to classify all 941 books in my spreadsheet by genre and found some predictable differences in the average number of books by the same author I read in each genre. Averages are for all-time, not this year alone:
romance - 4 books per author
fantasy - 3
sf - 2.7
horror - 2.3
mystery - 1.9
general fiction - 1.4
nonfiction - 1.2
I succeeded by the numbers, but failed some of my content goals: only 2 histories; only 1-3 new-to-me 19th century classics; and 3 works by Indigenous authors and 4 works by Black authors doesn't sound like a lot compared to the total. Categorizing books by the identity of the author was also fraught, as the information is not always easily accessible, not to mention the question of how these identity categories are even defined and who "counts". Plus, the whole point of the exercise for me was to find books with different settings and perspectives and maybe learn something new. I went with citizenship/tribal enrollment for the Native American authors, so as a result, I ended up dropping some of the most recommended titles from my TBR list. However, I enjoyed the books I did read, and have several left on my TBR list, so maybe I'll try the same goal in 2026. I also added a bunch of novels in translation to my TBR list, so I'm hoping to make headway on those next year. Plus all the history books and pre-20th century classics I didn't read this year.
And finally, I need to find some more book-themed user icons.
Combat System Critical (Murderbot TV-verse, 20K wds, gen)
SecUnit is on Preservation when an attempted assassination on a PresAux team member turns a quiet retreat at a backwater university into a fight for survival.
Brief spoilery notes on the Murderbot fic
I've had the idea of Gurathin's augments allowing him to survive being shot in the head with an energy weapon since I've been writing fic in this fandom, so that was the detail on which this plot pivoted. Of course then it took me absolutely ages to actually get to that part! I was a little worried that some other fic would do it in the meantime, and honestly I'm a little surprised that no one has.And my annual New Year's fic is up! Babylon 5 this time.
Five Kisses at the New Year (Babylon 5, 4300 wds, mostly gen)
What it says on the tin. 2257 to 2278.
Brief spoilery notes on the B5 fic
I went back and forth on whether to keep the final Londo & G'Kar scene (or maybe include it as apocryphal, or an outtake), and end on the hopeful note of Lochley and the new Ambassadors instead. That final scene is just pure self-indulgence (and maybe a bit of emotional h/c), but I decided to keep it; is it really a proper B5 fic if it doesn't stab you in the heart at some point?I also liked the idea of doing B5 for my New Year's fic this year since the show itself is arranged around the turn of the year.
The Impossible Fortune (Thursday Murder Club #5) by Richard Osman. This one just didn't grab me. Too many criminals, not enough Murder Club.
Xmas
was good, though delayed until Monday. I had a nice time, even if one of my gifts to my parents was redundant. The food was pretty great, though.
yarning/etsy
My Rock Star Lestat art doll sold on Christmas Day! Yay!! After which I finished a donation hat. And then another hat while reading Yuletide. I missed yarn group due to traveling for Xmas, though I got a commission for a Kermit green kickbunny, so I worked on that over my belated holiday. And I got a commission for an Older Daniel Molloy art doll yesterday, yay, so I'll be working on that over the next couple of days.
yuletide
reveals are tomorrow! Yay!
#resist
Tuesday, January 20: #50501 Free America Walk-out, 2pm local time. https://www.FreeAmeri.ca
Happy New Year, everyone! Please be safe as you enjoy kicking 2025 to the curb! <333
