Amelia

Hi! Still here. Still pregnant, now pretty visibly so. Baby thoughts are on the pregnancy filter, if you missed it the first time and want to be added just let me know. In general things are going pretty well.

Warning: there is sad part of the kitty story so feel free to skip or prepare yourself

( here for kitties )

Five Things:

1. I had a wonderful time at my 10-year college reunion this weekend!!! It was fantastic to see everyone and spend time together on campus.

2. Celebrated Father's Day by calling my dad (he and my mom were in the kayak), and playing "father's day olympics" with B.'s family. We played mini-rounds of ten different lawn games (croquet, lawn darts, horseshoes, etc.). It was fun!

3. B. and I had our anniversary Sunday night. We were going to go out but I was so exhausted from the weekend that we stayed in, ordered takeout, and watched The Hangover. It was nice and low-key. He got me lovely gifts: socks (relates to an anecdote the weekend we met), a dvd, and a guidebook for Las Vegas (I do love guidebooks, the planning!, the maps!).

4. I woke up at 4:30 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep because I had such bad heartburn? Weird.

5. A poem for Monday.


since feeling is first

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;

wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
- the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for each other; then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

e. e. cummings

The kitty is having surgery today so please think healthy-kitty thoughts for him.

We took Socrates to the vet last week. X-rays determined he has mild asthma so he's on prednisone. He also has a couple abcessed teeth so he was on antibiotics for a week and now he's having dental surgery. He's not an old kitty (we think he's roughly 5) so everything should be fine. But anything with anesthesia worries me a little.

I have some time to myself this Christmas Eve. Thinking of things happy and sad.

Things I'm grateful for:
-my family, their love and support
-the chance to see my parents, sister, and nephew tomorrow, to be together on Christmas
-B.'s family, how they've accepted me and made me part the family
-wonderful friends near and far
-being able to see some of them next week at New Year's!

Things I'm sad about:
-my grandmother whose has advanced Alzheimer's and is in a nursing home. We got an update today, she has been working with a therapist and her walking is better. The Alzheimer's is advanced enough that she is no longer my grandmother; she hasn't recognized anyone for years. So we are content that she is getting good care. If she is walking more steadily there is less risk of her falling and hurting herself. We're trying to make her life as pleasant as possible, even though some times it's hard to know how to do that (other than no pain, obviously). I miss her.

-we're not doing extended-family Christmas on my mom's side this year (the side with the grandmother mentioned above). Schedules just got too crazy. My parents will do a little thing next weekend, but I'll be at New Year's. I see my aunts and uncle regularly now, so that's better, but I will still miss that tradition this year. My one aunt just had her plans canceled (by a man she was interested in and kind of dating, stupid boys) so she will be alone on Christmas. :(

-I'm missing D. pretty badly tonight. Christmas always meant more to me than to him since he didn't grow up with the tradition. It's a time to share with people you love and even though we're not together I still love him and care for him. And I have years of good Christmas memories with him. I'm happy to be with B. and I'm happy to be included in new traditions--his family's--and to share my family's rituals with him. But I am still feeling the loss of my marriage, and with the holiday that loss is more acute.


It's been a time of transitions for me and the holidays are all about tradition. They bump up against each other some times. I'm sure tomorrow will be wonderful and celebratory and loving. Tonight's just a little sad.

Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate and love to all of you.

eta: I'll end on something happy. ( me and the Christmas tree! )

It's the same one as behind the cut, but here's a link to less annoyingly large Christmas tree pic!

My parents flew in tonight. Tomorrow we're all going to Gettysburg for a family reunion, should be lots of fun! Last year babies Jacob and Joslin were learning to roll over, and now they'll be running around along with Patrick who's turning 5. My mom brought me a bedspread for our guest bedroom (it used to be in my grandparents' spare bedroom) and shelves for the downstairs bathroom made by my Uncle Ted (who is awesome). Yay for more house improvements!

I've been reading and *adoring* Mark Reads Harry Potter. It just makes me so happy to see him loving the books. He's also shared a lot of personal details that the books have triggered. Most of these are really sad, but they make the blog feel like a community (even though I don't really read comments). Again, it's highly recommended.

From that blog, here is a super random clip from a 1989 Wendy's Training Video. Watch however much of the beginning you want, the OMGWTF comes at 3:30. I'm also a fan of 5:34. This blew my mind a little :) highly entertaining.

Back from WV! It was fun to see my dad's side of the family! We spent a lot of time playing with my nephew (15 months). He's so exhausting cute! My mom helped me alter my belly dance costume with mixed results. I'm on my own for the rest of it. My parents and sister are spending the week vacationing together in VA. I'm bummed I have to work and can't join them :( The only bad part about the weekend was the sleeping arrangements. Let's just say D. and I didn't get much sleep and are exhausted. This is a problem because I have a busy week. (Still freaking out about the bellydance performance, for example.)

Some interesting ways to procrastinate on the internet.
In Camera interview with Lady Gaga. It's long, but interesting (hats! Marina Abramovic! Feminism! Random questions!)
In case we haven't talked about her, Marina Abramovic article about her MoMA retrospective and performance piece that just ended
The Seventeen Magazine Project in which an 18 year old girl applies the tips from Seventeen Magazine to her life for one month.
Quote: "To go with my "Bright Prints" look, I also got my nails done to follow the "Bright Colors" trend that Danielle, age 15, from Minneapolis speaks so highly of. She writes, "Whenever I'm feeling down, I can just look at my nails and feel peppy!" This is bleak. I wish Seventeen would suggest a hobby for Danielle so she didn't have to look to idle nail-gazing as her only source of joy."

It would be kind of cool to (but I don't think I should):
-go to Universal Studios to the Harry Potter theme park thing
-dye my hair blonde (history: was red for a few years in my 20s, now it's my natural brown, I switch between long and shoulder length, currently long)
-pierce something (but I'm not sure what exactly and that pretty much answers the question, doesn't it?)
-go to Montreal. I've never been despite growing up in ME, and living in NH and western MA. IDK I have an urge, but no budget

Baby Jacob (almost a year old).

( Eating, while being eaten by, a shark. )

Leaving my valentine this weekend for another, considerably younger man, my nephew Jacob (age: 11 months). My mom is at my sister's for the weekend so I'm heading down too. Monday my mom is flying home and my sister's childcare fell through so I am taking care of the baby.

My mother on the phone discussing this plan:
mom: so you know you'll be alone with the baby *all day*
me: yes, I understand, I think I can keep the baby alive for 8 hours
mom: and you'll need to play with him
me: yes, play with him, feed him, change him, these are pretty much baby-care basics
[note: I've helped take care of my nephew since he was 2 weeks old, and my sister and I are close, I'm up on What The Baby Is Doing Now]
mom: your sister will have her phone on all day
me: that's great, I'm sure we'll be fine
mom: well you're coming a day or two early right, so at least we can show you everything
me: yes, I really think it'll be fine mom. Thanks for all the faith in me.

I think grandma would rather stay and take care of the baby than head back home to work. Perfectly understandable :)

It is getting down to the wire with the Christmas gifts so I ventured out shopping today. It was not as crazy as it would be after work or on a weekend, but still not fun for me.

My major goal was to buy for the children: P. (4, boy), Jo. (10mos, girl), and Ja.(10mos, boy, nephew). I don't have a clue what is age appropriate, and that was very frustrating.

I started out in the bookstore, this was fine. Got some board books for the babies. Your Personal Penguin made me tear up in the store. I would recommend it for anyone that you love, of any age.

Also got an extended version of the book with the mouse and pancake that had recipes for things (like pancakes) and songs for the 4 year old after calling my mother (with a patient), my aunt (his grandmother, didn't pick up), and finally his mother to see if he had it. Also got something called PailPets for Jo (not like garbage pail kids which is what the name reminds me of). This was fine. Went to some other places, had no luck.

Ended up at Target for toys because I couldn't deal with the idea of going to Toys R Us. Thought I would get some sort of tent/tube combo for Ja since he's very into crawling/walking-while-pushing-something everywhere and could use some changes of scenery. Store employee (working in the toy dept.) tells me they don't have any. Later I find a whole aisle of them (wtf?), but all of them have licensed characters and are for 3+ so forget that. The whole toy dept. is organized by brand (aisle sub-headings are all logos), it was a little intense.

Also wanted a baby doll for the boy. Didn't think finding a doll for a baby under two would be a big deal. IT'S LIKE A STUFFED ANIMAL BUT IN THE SHAPE OF A SMALL HUMAN. Plenty of stuffed animals. Lots of dolls for 2+ that talk, suck, shake, pee, whatever. They all make creepy noises when you walk down the aisle past them. Ended up with a stuffed monkey, it's kind of like a baby (except not, because I fail at toy shopping).

Ended up getting a lego man head lamp (it says 5+, but he's an advanced mature 4 *shrug*) at HTO and a t shirt online for P. (he's into Star Wars and Wizard of Oz right now).

All the cool toys seem to be for kids who are 8. Can't wait for 8. (There was a hydroelectric kit that I wanted to get for my dad, a civil engineer, to play with the kids when they get to 8, but I decided that was too many years away.)

Still have nothing and no ideas for my mother, and need something else for my sister. Ideas welcome.

Had a very nice weekend with my parents and sister (and family). We mostly did chores and played with the baby :) My parents were very nice about my crazy schedule and the fact the house wasn't put together and they didn't have a bed.

Activities:
-Friday morning trapeze, my parents came to watch :)
-Friday night curling (we were down 2 without hammer in the 8th and stole 3 to win)
-Saturday night Ravenchase (with zombies! Tons of fun.)
-Sunday afternoon got a flat tire driving my parents to the airport :(

House stuff:
-Fri. cleaned apartment with mom and dad, moved stuff to car; Sun. finished cleaning and moving stuff (including bikes) with D.
-got shower curtain, halloween candy, and bunch of home depot stuff
-bedroom: overhead light purchased and installed, bed put up, temporary curtains up
-livingroom: 4 bookcases put together, bunch of stuff arranged, dropcloth curtains purchased and hung (D. and I had a fight about how high to hang the curtains), this room is mostly done, just need to hang picture and mirror, install overhead light, and load bookcases
-diningroom: table in place, some boxes moved to attic, other boxes unpacked, really need to find a light fixture; we hate all the Home Depot options for this room
-kitchen: sort of put together (thanks, mom!), I just need to rearrange some stuff, also need to decide whether to massively cull stuff (might not be possible), convert coat closet into pantry, or revise plan for dining room
-basement: half is set up, tv stands purchased and assembled, big ass (50"!) tv delivered and set up, one endtable assembled, still need to deal with D.'s half of the room including bookcases
-no progress on office or guest bedroom

No more house stuff tonight, off to S. and J.'s to play rockband :)